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The hidden half of domestic violence

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ELOI ELOI la' ma sabach' thani?

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ELOI ELOI la' ma sabach' thani? ---My GOD, My GOD WHY have you forsaken me?

Thus was uttered the most tragic words ever to be said on the face of the Earth!   Can we actually realize what these words meant?   THIS was what our LORD feared the most!   He SUFFERED greatly before He said these words. His beatings we so hard that one could not recognize Him as human. The cross was used as it was one of the most painful forms of execution known to man. Yet it was THESE words the Lord feared the most.


ELOI ELOI la' ma sabach' thani?

 WE will NEVER be able to say these words. NEVER, not as a child of God.  WE were promised that He would never leave us or forsake us.
(Heb 13:5)  Given this promise that unlike the SON of God that we will never be forsaken, consider the following carefully.  It is not easy to write this.

Although we will never be forsaken, we were NOT promised we would never suffer. In fact, it was the exact opposite. 1 Peter chapter 2 tells us about how our Lord suffered, with verse 21 stating “because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow in his steps.

Why then is it that we get so, so frightened to tell our co-worker about what HE has done for us? Why do we not tell our next door neighbor? Is it because we are afraid they will not “like” us anymore? Or maybe they may say something ?mean back to us?

Worse yet, and this is the hard part people . It is one of the more difficulty things I have written, WHY can we not LIVE for HIM in front of our unsaved husbands and wives?

We have clear cut guidelines to win our unsaved spouses to our Lord.

Men we need LOVE our wife as Christ loves the church. Christ was a servant first of all.  He served! Yet we do not help as much as we should. Often we want to be served much has the 12 did when Jesus washed “their”  feet,

Women 1 Peter 3:1 tells how you can win your husband to the Lord but it is not politically correct for women to be submissive any more is it. Even a main stream denomination has told women they need not submit to their husband anymore. I have also been told that yes women do need to submit to their husbands “spiritually” Well., if that be the case. I guess I need to love my wife “spiritually” This verse starts out “likewise” To understand this verse, we have to find out what likewise is referring too.


What is the example?  Since the husbands example is none other then Christ Himself,. (love your wives as Christ loves the church) does it not stand to reason that the example here too is Christ? Was Christ “spiritually” subjected to the Father?


We also need to look at what this verse really says. ... that if any obey not the word (if any husbands are NOT saved?) that they may without the word be won by the behavior of the wives. LISTEN to this! IF a wife does this, the reward can and more likely will be her husbands salvation! What is that worth to you? You see, in this PC world of ours, God’s people need to stand out from the crowd. No one expects women to submit to a
husband anymore. Most husbands are not given any respect as verse two tells us to do. .”while they (unsaved husbands) behold your pure behavior coupled with respect.”  It is this that unsaved husbands will see and they will know there is something within you that they do not see in the world. They will know that this is Jesus and He does make a difference in how we live.

OK, let’s look at the opposite view for a moment. I am liberated. I do not have to submit to anyone. I have my rights. I am a  “Christian” feminist.
Really? We all have to submit to those in authority over us. We are liberated only by trusting and following Christ (Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty) and if we are dead to ourselves, do we have “rights”? As far as the last one goes, that is an oxymoron. There are many reasons to believe the feminist movement is one of the biggest tools satan is using to tear down families.  Some proof of this is NOW’s war on
fathers. and their openly promotion of the gay life style.


It is my contention that if a Christian wife does not submit as required by 1 Peter 3:1 then by default she is saying her husbands salvation is not important to her. If doing this will lead him TO Christ, would not NOT doing it drive him away? It burdens me deeply that if this be true, so many are making their husbands disposable to be able be liberated”  I started this with saying we all will have to suffer more for the Lord if we want to see
more people saved.  

Men have to love their wives and this may mean giving their life for
not only his wife, but for women in general. We have seen thousands upon thousands of men barely over 18 give their live that we all may have freedom. This is a burden only men are called upon to do. Most have seen “Saving Private Ryan” It is only a fraction of what men have gone through that we can be free. True there are women in some combat roles now but the burden is and always will be on men. This would not bother me
if these men that died for our freedom were all saved. It does bother me some now that most were not and they did not have the chance to trust in Christ that most others did simply because they were male and were called to serve their country.. As it is, men have on the average 8 years less time to trust Christ then do women so does it not make sense to at least follow the command of Christ so your husband can have a much better
chance at trusting Christ as possible?


For you men that have unsaved wives. does it not make sense to love your wife as Christ loves the church? Would not this example help her to know there is something in you that she will not see in the world? Christ was a servant. Should we not be too? It is only by being different then he world expect that those around us will see JESUS IN US. This is what will make them want what we have. I never want anyone to look at me and say “if
he is Christian I do not want to be one!”

Yes, we are going to have to suffer to see the world come to Christ. We have to stand firm against SIN. It is not PC to do this anymore. Abortion, homosexuality, and a host of other sins are protected by the PC crowd. We will suffer if we stand firm against them NOT against the people but against the SIN.


I personally have been hit for telling someone the gospel. It was an honor to have had that happen. This is when we are told to turn the other cheek. My LORD suffered for me.  The apostles suffered and died for the Lord. Many were fed to the lions and many are suffering and dying TODAY for their stand for Christ. What is it worth for a soul?


What would you do to see someone saved? I do not want to be anyone’s Holy Spirit.  That is between YOU and GOD.  I DO realize much of these feelings may be a rebound from my feelings of a few months ago. One has only to look at the reasons I started Shattered Men.  This can be found in ken's story.  (I am not proud of this but it shows what God has done for me)  

 What Is the Cause of Abuse? and Marriage His Duties, Her Duties  will help build a marriage as each does their part to lift up the other.

This has not been easy for me to write. I do not want to see anyone abused in anyway. I do ask each of us, myself too, to consider what we will be willing to do to see men and women come to the Lord. Those of you who know me, know I care very deeply about "anyone" that is hurting. It is my desire that I will first of all please our Lord. I do want so much to hear Him tell me "Well done" when I see Him face to face. He died for us to have salvation and then for us to share Him with others, The only thing I want more then to help hurting people heal from their wounds is for hurting people that do not know the Lord to come to HIM! Eternity is a LONG time, I do not want to see ANYONE and I do mean ANYONE there (in Hell) if there is something I can do to stop it. If it means suffering for Him, My prayer is that He will be my example. My Lord has done sooo much for me I can not help but to love HIM but even if he does nothing more for me now, He did enough 2000 years ago, I now ask what can I do for YOU LORD!

In closing meditate on this and the fact that WE will NEVER be able to say this!

ELOI ELOI la' ma sabach' thani?

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