Shat  terd

Men 

The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life

Who Are Your Advisors?

As in everything else, we need to have a balance in seeking advisors also. Yes we encourage those with serious problems to seek out Christian counselor. (If you need help in finding a Christian Counselor, please contact us)

But even then we have to be careful we seek wise counsel. Even "Christian counselors can be wrong.

Recently one of our founders went to the "Christian" Counselor  convention and she reported that she walked out of a workshop on domestic violence because they were giving wrong advise.

I have also known of many pastors and counselors that will suggest divorce readily in any situation where a person, and especially a woman states abuse occurs. It is my believe this is due to the fear of law suites.

I also know that if any of these groups get federal funds for helping abused women, they can not ask for accountability from them by law.   This can be shown here:  http://www.shatterdmen.com/VAWA%20II.htm  This is a violation of Scripture also as we are told to hold each other accountable for our actions.

Job sought advice. His advisors were way off track. They insisted that Job was suffering for un confessed sin. (compare Luke 13: 1-5) Of course we know Job suffered because he was serving God.

Why is it that many of us feel that since we are a Christians we should never have any problems? Why is it that we think we should be immune to suffering? Actually the opposite may be more true for Jesus said we would suffer for His name.

Who Are Your Advisors? We often think that if we seek advise, especially professional advise if were are given wrong advise it is not our fault. Actually it is OUR final responsibility to make sure any advise we get is Biblically accurate.     John 4:1 tells us  Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Of course, in order to know this, we have to know what the Bible says. For those who are new Christians, you can seek advise from several sources to see if the advisor you are thinking of going to is Biblically accurate.

One thing I do know for sure...By far most of the feminist sources for advise will be off target.  Any source that is one sided, that only looks after the interest of a specific group of people are suspect for bias.

The wisdom of man is foolishness to the LORD. What seems like good advise to us humans is most likely not what God wants.

The goal of any advisor for those in a broken marriage should be if at all possible to heal the relationship. If your advisor immediately suggests divorce...run out of that office.

I also do not believe any counselor that does not question both sides is on dangerous ground.   For one, if a person has a conflict with everyone they meet, it is wise to think the problem is always with those they meet?  Would it not be wise to ask them to look at themselves to see if the problem is something they are causing? 

Yet many women's shelters have excused the behavior of some of their "victims" even when they have been in one abusive relationship after another. 

I have written a message "Marriage, His duties,  Her duties.  I do believe this is Biblically accurate.  It can be found here:  http://www.shatterdmen.com/Marriage%20%20his%20and%20hers.htm

Who Are Your Advisors?   The Bible tells us There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, (or woman) but the end thereof are the ways of death. Pro 16:25   Are we seeking wise, Biblically solid advise. or that advise WE want to hear? 

1 Timothy 4:7    Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.

It is also my opinion that a wise counselor will not tell one what they should do.  They will help explore all the choices and encourage you to make your choice based upon solid Biblical principals.

Who Are Your Advisors?   Of course the BEST advisor is our Lord Jesus Christ.   

Is 9:6  "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."

One way we can do this is with the Effective Prayer for Hurting people. 

http://www.shatterdmen.com/Effective.htm

Yes it is wise to seek advise and the Bible even tells us that many  counselors Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14  But lets make sure we do not just seek them until we find one we want to hear.  We may "feel" good for a while...but we will be in for one WHALE RIDE

http://www.shatterdmen.com/WHALE%20RIDES.htm

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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month