The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
Wow, what a concept in our permissive
society. A mother drowns the
kids and some groups try to blame her husband. A teenager takes a
gun to school and shoots his classmates but it is not his fault. If
his parents controlled his behavior....
Personal responsibility. No one wants it. Few take it yet it is one
of the main things we need in society today. If we looked to see
where the first incident of refusing personal responsibility began,
we would have to go all the way back to the beginning of human
existence. When Adam and Eve sinned, neither accepted personal
responsibility. When asked, Adam told God that the woman HE gave him
made him do it. Eve said "not me...it was the serpent" Let's think
on this for a moment. We do need to give credit where it is due. If
we gave our son or daughter a car and they had an accident and ended
up in the hospital for several days, how would we feel if we were
told "I only had the accident because YOU gave me a car"
In many of our conflicts, we do tend to blame everyone but
ourselves. If you had not done this, it would not have happened.
Personal responsibility. Looking back to the Garden, at least Eve
did not say...the serpent which YOU created made me" When Adam
reminded God that it was the woman whom HE had given him, essentially
Adam was placing the blame on....GOD.
Jesus overheard two people praying in a pubic place. One religious
leader prayed and thanked God but he thanked God for the wrong
things. He prayed...Thank you God that I am not a pervert, or a
thief and that I am not like that bum over there. The other,
prayed...God, I am sorry I have sinned against YOU. Be merciful to
me for I am a sinner. This man accepted personal responsibility and
was forgiven. The first did not and was condemned. (Luke 18:9-14)
The prodigal son accepted personal responsibility when he returned
home and said: forgive me for I have sinned against GOD and I have
sinned against you. I am unworthy to be called your son." He was
forgiven and restored because he accepted...personal responsibility.
"I was wrong" Perhaps those three words are the hardest most have to
say. Too often we use the wrong personal pronoun in that statement
since is is much easier to say...You are wrong or they were wrong.
It takes a real man or a real woman to say.."I was wrong" We have
had a few join Shattered Men to admit that they were the abuser.
Thank you for accepting personal responsibility.
Why will some not accept personal responsibility?
Could it be that it is not socially acceptable to call sin..sin any
longer? After all, it was only a mistake. Could it be also that
many of our people are being taught that it is not their fault?
Radical feminist tell us that it is the fault of the patriarchy. Is
this not doing the same thing that Adam did? Are they not blaming
God? You see, God set up the patriarchy. He said He is the God of
Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, not the God of Ruth, Esther, and Sarah
When we do things GOD's way, everyone wins. I know we will hear the
old excuse that men wrote the Bible so that is why the patriarchy is
included in it. We would even be told that is why GOD is masculine
and not feminine. Ever notice two things. These same people that
want to make God female have no problem keeping satan male? The
other thing is that they deny the infallible Word of God because if
they did not do this, they could not say the Bible is sexist because
it was written by men. They would have to admit that each word was
God breathed. This is to say that God told these men to write
exactly what HE wanted using their particular writing styles.
Yes, by the time Jesus Christ was born, society did have women
lowered to a second class citizen level but this was not GOD doing
it. God has declared that He is not a respecter of persons. Jesus
Christ put women back to where God intended…on an equal level with
men. Both men and women have equal value although we each have
What is more valuable? . Da Vinci's "The Last Supper" or Handle's
messiah Are we not told that they are both priceless? Well my
friend, both men and women have strengths and both have weaknesses.
This is why children need BOTH parents.
We have written many times about the huge amount of damage done to
our children in fatherless homes. Most all of the gangs are because
these boys and girls need someone to accept them as they are. Most
rapes occur when there is displaced anger in fatherless homes.
Remember, rape is seldom about sex but it is about power and
control. Could it be that these boys have seen what happened to dad
and as a result of the misandry they see and feel they then misdirect
their anger on all women? NO this would never excuse this
behavior. This message is about accepting personal responsibility
and we can not afford to excuse sin because of what happened in the
We have showed two people in God's Word that accepted personal
responsibility The Tax collector and the prodigal son. Both were
forgiven when they did so. In Psalms 139 we see a good lesson for
each of us when we face a conflict with another person. The Psalmist
prayed…search ME oh LORD…not search my husband or search my wife.
David (the psalmist) was accepting personal responsibility.
As a society, we need to demand that each one takes personal
responsibility for their own actions. We are often told that when
a child is abused that child we grow up to be an abuser also. This
is called the cycle of abuse. Our society does tend to make it sound
like these abusers are always male, that they learn how to be an
abuser from watching their father, but we know that this is only
because girls are being excused from calling their actions abuse. If
a girl hits a boy, she is assertive. If a boy hits a girl no matter
the reason, he is a bully. We can no longer afford to find excuses
because of one's gender, color, ethic background or upbringing. This
is the only way we will help break the cycle of abuse.
Personal responsibility! There is one last area of this I want to
discuss. EACH of us, man , woman, boy or girl needs to accept
personal responsibility as the tax collector did in Luke 18. We
each need to say: God, I am sorry I have sinned against YOU. Be
merciful to me for I am a sinner.
When we do that my friend, God will break the cycle of abuse within
our own hearts and HE will restore a right relationship with HIM. If
we are doing it for the first time in our life, HE will make us HIS
child and will give us eternal life. If we have already done this,
but have slipped away from HIM, HE will restore the JOY of
salvation. For a detailed plan on doing this…read
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month