Shat  terd

Men 

 

The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life


A Letter to POTUS and The Attorney General of The United States 

(a copy will be sent to each of the 50 State Attorney Generals)

I am the founder of Shattered Men.  This is a group that focus on domestic violence with the focus on abused men.  Unbiased research shows women are as abusive as men  http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm   Even according  the DoJ, at least 38 to 40%of the victims of domestic violence are men.  Do these men not deserve the protection accorded by The United States Constitution ? 
 

Amendment XIV

Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

This is happening to men anytime they are accused of domestic violence.  It almost happened to me when my wife had a medical condition which can cause symptoms of  a stoke and confusion.  She was on the phone with someone when it happened and they called 911 to check on her.  The sheriff deputy literally insisted that she tell him that I hit her.  He had his hands on his handcuffs and was glaring at me at the time.   There were NO bruises Nothing was out of place in our home.  NO ONE here called them yet all she had to say or gesture in a confused state was yes and I would have been arrested for a well documented medical condition.  NO proof would have been needed of abuse.  Since I have a license to do my job, I could well have  been out of a job and I doubt I would have gotten a sorry about that.  I am sure they would have offered to plea bargain to get a conviction.  It would have cost me hundreds if not thousands of dollars for something that would have and does happen hundreds of thousands of times in this country...without one shred of proof. 

 
Men have no resource to go to.  The Violence Against Women Act only protects half the victims of abuse.  It encourages false reporting by giving incentives for having been abused.  It provides for one sided advocacy.  Sort of like asking a White person to go on police calls anytime there is a conflict between them and other races.  Actually having the NOW legal department give so much input on the VAWA without any input from the other side is like asking the KKK to write our racial relation laws or to ask the al-Zarqawi's network  for input on the Patriot Act. 
 
 It also encourages the arrest of the other half.....men.    What does this have to do with child custody and the  need for     EQUAL parenting? 
 
One of the more common ways for men to be abused is by false accusations. It assures women will keep the children and almost everything else.  Equal parenting in areas have already shown the divorce rate is reduced greatly when it is practiced. 
 
Last week I went to a trial for a man accused of "felony intimidation"  His crime?  He told his wife "IF you do, I will kill you"    He immediately rescinded that remark but he was arrested anyway.  IF she did what?  His wife told him she would take his kids and move out of state and he would never see them again.  On almost every abused women site, this is considered abuse ..if her husband did it. 
 
Also this week I have had to console a man that was acutely suicidal when a "family" court said his ex wife can move out of state with his children.  The fact that many had testified  that she was abusive to these children did not matter. 
 
Recently there have been at least 38 class action suite against states that call for equal parenting.
 
Why do we need Equal parenting?  Look at these facts:
 

37.9% of fathers have no access/visitation rights. (Source: p.6, col.II, para. 6, lines 4 & 5, Census Bureau P-60, #173, Sept 1991.)

"40% of mothers reported that they had interfered with the non-custodial father's visitation on at least one occasion, to punish the ex-spouse." (Source: p. 449, col. II, lines 3-6, (citing Fulton)

Frequency of visitation by Divorced Fathers; Differences in Reports by Fathers and Mothers. Sanford Braver et al, Am. J. of Orthopsychiatry, 1991.) "Overall, approximately 50% of mothers "see no value in the father`s continued contact with his children...." (Source: Surviving the Breakup, Joan Kelly & Judith Wallerstein, p. 125)

Only 11% of mothers value their husband's input when it comes to handling problems with their kids. Teachers & doctors rated 45%, and close friends & relatives rated %16.(Source: EDK Associates survey of 500 women for Redbook Magazine. Redbook, November 1994, p. 36)

"The former spouse (mother) was the greatest obstacle to having more frequent contact with the children." (Source: Increasing our understanding of fathers who have infrequent contact with their children, James Dudley, Family Relations, Vol. 4, p. 281, July 1991.)

"A clear majority (70%) of fathers felt that they had too little time with=their children." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Mary Ann Kock & Carol Lowery, Journal of Divorce, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 54)

"Very few of the children were satisfied with the amount of contact with their fathers, after divorce." (Source: Visitation and the Noncustodial Father, Koch & Lowery, Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, Vol. 8, No. 2, p. 50)

"Feelings of anger towards their former spouses hindered effective involvement on the part of fathers; angry mothers would sometimes sabotage father's efforts to visit their children." (Source: Ahrons and Miller, Am. Journal of Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 63. p. 442, July `93.)

"Mothers may prevent visits to retaliate against fathers for problems in their marital or post-marital relationship." (Source: Seltzer, Shaeffer & Charing, Journal of Marriage & the Family, Vol. 51, p. 1015, November 1989.)

In a study: "Visitational Interference - A National Study" by Ms. J Annette Vanini, M.S.W. and Edward Nichols, M.S.W., it was found that 77% of non-custodial fathers are NOT able to "visit" their children, as ordered by the court, as a result of "visitation interference" perpetuated by the custodial parent. In other words, non-compliance with court ordered visitation is three times the problem of non-compliance with court ordered child support and impacts the children of divorce even more. Originally published Sept. 1992

Even more frighten then this is the results of fatherless homes:

 

Children from fatherless homes account for:

63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).

71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)

90% of all homeless and runaway children.

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (DOJ, Special Report)

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source:Center for Disease Control).

80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26).

71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children).

85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/ssewell38/father.htm

I ask you, can we afford to go on as if nothing is broken?  Is it not time to start fixing the problem?  Equal parenting will go a long way toward doing so

 
 
Pastor Kenneth Deemer
 
Director Shattered Men
P.O. BOX 166
MARION INDIANA 46952-0166
 
shatteredmen@earthlink.net
 
Web site: http://www.shatterdmen.com
Interactive Group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/shattterdmen/
 
Check our new book:
 
Jerusalem Daily/Shattered Men
http://www.shatterdmen.com/JDSMCover.htm


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