The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
John 13:35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if
ye have love one to another.
Main Entry: 1love
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High
German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to
Date: before 12th century
1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or
personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2) : attraction based on
sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) :
affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love
for his old schoolmates> b : an assurance of love <give her my love>
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of the sea>
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration <baseball was
his first love> b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a
term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another:
as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly
concern for others b : a person's adoration of God
There are several types of "love" as we can see from above.
Benevolence is what we think of when we think of "charity" We see
this type of love in Matthew 25:35 For I was an hungred, and ye
gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger,
and ye took me in:
We also know about Brotherly love, from which Philadelphia is name.
We see this type of love with David and Jonathan and with Ruth and
Eros or sexual love is often talked about as often we think of love
when it is really lust. Sexual love is a gift from God when used in
the right way. The Song of Solomon is this type of love. It is
reserved by God for a man and woman that are married...TO EACH OTHER.
Our focus however will be on AGAPE LOVE...unconditional love.
Our partnership groups and it's moderators have often stressed that
we need to let love abound. John 13:35 By this shall all men know
that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. For most
people it is love that draws us to God. Yes there is a need to teach
the wrath of God, but we need to stress the LOVE of God far more
often. NO WHERE in the Word of God can I find where WE are to show
God's wrath. On the other hand, I can find scores of places that
tell US to show HIS LOVE. In fact we are commanded not to show the
Wrath of God. HE did say Vengeance belongs to HIM.
Psalm 94:1 O Lord God, to whom vengeance belongeth; O God, to whom
vengeance belongeth, shew thyself.
Romans 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give
place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay,
saith the Lord.
Yet, we have seen many on the net and many groups that feel it is our
job to punish those who do not do good. Many ban or exclude people
from their groups simply for disagreeing with them on anything.
Others ban those that are in need for help because they are the wrong
Color, the wrong nationality or even the wrong gender. Why I have
been banned from a group (when it was a club) for the crime of being
male even though I was invited to that club. This group was told so
they say to minister to women only. Lets see a moment...Tim..ahhh no
1 Peter 3:15 tells us this: "But sanctify the Lord God in your
hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that
asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.
Umm actually there is no way God would tell them to minister to
"women" only for this verse tells them to be able to answer to every
MAN....Ok Ok..we know this is generic and it includes women too. But
when asked they could not nor would not tell me what chapter and
verse there opening statement came from. My friend, the bottom
line..is that it was not LOVE they were showing. This is one reason
this ministry accepts women although it is aimed for men. This is
one reason we will not send anyone away that may be seeking help for
it is our prayer that ALL that come here can see LOVE here!
We will be covering 1: The demand for love, 2: The evidence for love,
and 3: The signs and effects of love.
THE DEMAND FOR LOVE:
My friend, showing love is not an option for the discipled
Christian. It is a requirement. If you can not or will not show
love, it does indicate at the very least that you are an immature
By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love
one to another.
A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I
have loved you, that ye also love one another.
Love is so important that ALL of the commandments from God can be
narrowed down to TWO.
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all
thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
We are not to love only those that do good to us, but we are to love
even those that do evil to us:
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse
you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which
despitefully use you, and persecute you;
14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou
shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Now I know there are many people that are reading this that may have
a problem with this verse...for they do not love themselves. Many of
those that suffered abuse as children do not feel worthy of anyone's
love. They have been made to feel all the evils of the world are
their fault. It is hard for them to accept love from anyone, let
alone to accept it from the lover of their souls...JESUS....yet they
often do anything to merit someones love..even allowing or looking
for more abuse. Part of this is because they feel they are not
worthy real love and deserve to be punished and for most, it is
better to be abused then to be ignored. Many of the people for whom
this message was written have been ignored. Many have been locked in
closets, not spoken to except to be yelled at, blamed and made fun
of. PLEASE, if this applies to you..read on:
The EVIDENCE of LOVE!
There are many places that tell what love does. When we do this, we
do show love. Lets look at several
1: FEED the hungry. We mentioned above Matthew 25:35-46 tells us to
feed the hungry, cloth the naked, and give water to those that are
thirsty. My friend, let us not forget to give the Living Water to
those that are need it also. I do urge you to look up these verses
if I do not post them. If you do not have a Bible, use an on line
Bible such as we have on our web site. (1st and 3rd page)
2: Rejoice or weep: Romans 12:15 Rejoice with them that do
rejoice, and weep with them that weep
How often do we feel umm jealous if someone gets more praise then we
do? A large piece of cake? Oh I know...for I too have often poured
my heart out in something I have personally written only to have it
appear to be ignored while others have gotten praise for a copy and
paste job. My friend, if I write for the right reasons, that is not
my problem. I know there has to be someone that has gotten help even
I I do not know it...this side of heaven. When one gets praise, we
need to rejoice with them. When one weeps, we need to sit with them
a spell...and help them cry. This goes with the next one:
3: 1 Corinthians 12:26 And whether one member suffer, all the
members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members
rejoice with it. I got something in my eye the other day,...no...not
a fist..but I am sure there are some that would like to do that...but
you know...all my other activity stopped..until I got that object out
of my eye. When I eat something I really enjoy...all the rest of me
is happy because my mouth and my tummy is happy.
4: FORGIVING Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake
hath forgiven you. We will be writing a message on forgiving soon.
5: COVERS SIN AND OFFENSES: 1 Peter 4:8 And above all things
have fervent love among yourselves: for love shall cover the
multitude of sins. Now this, nor forgiveness means sin goes
unpunished. It indicates that we chose not to be offended by much of
what some think we should be offended about. Psalm 119:165 Great
peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
I have been called a yellow belly coward. Many here know how much
that offended me...NOT..I have even used it to kid around saying that
when I got kicked off the net that I got new boots..Yellow ones..to
match my belly. I have been called ignorant. I wear that proudly
also because I am in good company..as those that JESUS called His
apostles were ignorant fishermen and tax collectors. My friend, do
not let things offend you. CHOSE TO cover those things that were
intended to offend with LOVE.
God will not forget: Hebrews 6:10 For God is not unrighteous to
forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his
name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.
1 John 3:10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the
children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of
God, neither he that loveth not his brother.
1 John 3:14 We know that we have passed from death unto life,
because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth
1 John 4:20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is
a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can
he love God whom he hath not seen?
LOVE is HONEST: Leviticus 19:11 Ye shall not steal, neither deal
falsely, neither lie one to another. We deal a lot with false
accusations here. Often when we are lied about, it is easy to lie
right back...but remember by friend....WE are responsible to do what
God wants US to do...regardless of what others do. We also have
examples of others that were lied about that God used greatly because
they allowed God to deal with those that lied about them. Joseph was
accused of a rape he of course did not do. Yet his trust of God
through it all saved a nation. (Gen 39)
The last evidence of LOVE we will talk about is
WARN: 1 Thessalonians 5:14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them
that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be
patient toward all men. When we see something that is not pleasing
to God, first we have to make sure WE are not guilty also, but then
we should try to point out the problem. We should of course do it in
love but remember also, that when we tell someone something that is
true for their good, it does hurt. They will often not like it.
When I have been told something that I did not like, my first thought
was "yes BUT...." Folks the leadership have often discussed things
with each other that we did not like to hear ..things that we may have
seen or they may have seen in me that needed to be talked about. Yet
we too have thought about defending ..blaming...or reflecting it back
on another...YES ..BUT. When someone tells us something that is
bugging them about us, lets not get defensive ..but lets pray the
psalmist prayer ..search ME oh Lord.
When we tell others about a problem, lets try not to do it in a tone
that indicates hey man...you need to shape up. But lets try to
focus on making each of us a better person in showing LOVE to all
that come our way.
next we will discuss the signs and effects of love.
Meanwhile....remember John 13:35 By this shall all men know that ye
are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
LOVE Part 2
By this shall all men know that ye
are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:35
When a person is ill, doctors look for signs and symptoms. They can often tell what is going on "inside" the body, by what they see outside. In the same way, Spiritually, we can often tell what is going on "inside" by what we see outside. If we do not see "evidence" of love, we can wonder if it is there. This brings us to the next part of the study on Love...
Signs and Effects of Love
1 Corinthians 8:1 Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.
Love builds the church. The Word of God tells of of Spiritual gifts are given to each person as they trust the Lord. Some have found 19 different gifts (some of which many do not feel are in effect today) and out of all of these gifts, LOVE is the absolute basic necessity. We see this in 1 Corinthians 13:
1 Though I speak
with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as
sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Without love, nothing we do will matter. Some of these gifts tend to build those that have the gift. LOVE however builds the body of Christ.
LOVE YIELDS RIGHTS
1 Corinthians 8:13 Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend.
Today in our society we often hear about our "rights" Very little is ever said about our responsibilities One of the reasons I feel the feminist movement is so dangerous, so damaging to our society, is that it only demands rights, rights for a select group of people no matter the cost to others, including our children. This group says nothing about responsibility and accountability. In fact, it appears to strongly oppose any woman being held accountable for her actions. When a woman commits a crime, these feminist are right there looking for reasons she should not be held accountable. One has only to look at the Yates situation to see this. Why the National Organization of Women even tried to blame her husband.
On the other hand, Christians will give up their rights to promote love, to encourage the Body to grow. As the verse above states, we will not willfully do the things that may cause someone to fall in their walk with the Lord. Now remember also, this does not mean we will accept everything. I believe from the earlier lesson we find we need to correct one when we can show the chapter and verse to support it. We do need to do this with gentleness so we do not make them feel dumb, stupid or embarrassed. When we correct someone, it has to be after we assess ourselves, and we need to do it in private, not on message boards such as is in our groups and communities.
LOVE SERVES OTHERS
Galatians 5:13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
Galatians 5:6 For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love.
Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
James 2:26 tells us "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also". This verse does NOT tell us that we do not have salvation if we do not have works. It tells us that without works our salvation is worthless to other people. Just as a dead person is useless to society., They can not build, or help others. In verse 2:18 James said, "Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works" James was saying he would show us he was saved by his works Are we not told this inWherefore by their fruits ye shall know them"? My friends, THIS is the reason we stress the need to let LOVE abound so much. It is the first indication of having the fruit of the Spirit.
love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Each of these builds upon the one before it. We can not have joy without love. We can not have peace without joy. We can not have long suffering without having peace within first. Once again, the most important ingredient is LOVE. To try to serve God without love, would be worse them to try to bake bread without Flour.
LOVE IS A BOND OF PERFECTION
Colossians 3:14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.
When we see perfect in the Bible, it often does not mean flawless. It indicates we are complete.
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus:
Night and day praying exceedingly that we might see your face, and might perfect that which is lacking in your faith?
These are just some examples of how we can see that we need to be complete in Christ.
CHRIST IS NEEDED TO LOVE
Ephesians 3:17 That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
Ephesians 4:16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love
Ephesians 5:2 And walk in
love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering
and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
showing love is not an option for the discipled
Christian. It is a requirement. If you can not or will not show
love, it does indicate at the very least that you are an immature
My friend, if you do not or can not show love to those around you, there may be several reasons for this.
1: Do you belong to the LORD? Without a right relationship with God first of all, we can not have a right relationship with each other. This is covered in The First Step Toward Better Relationships
2: Is there anger or bitterness in your heart? We have to deal with this, confess it and get rid of it to let love abound. Bitterness only hurts one person...the one that is bitter. There is much evidence that bitterness shortest lives for those who are bitter.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
ANGER!!! is already covered here:
Often we do not submit to the LORD because we feel we are right. This is pride Many of the reasons for this have been covered above. Let me remind you of some important verses that address this:
If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.
And when the LORD saw that they humbled themselves, the word of the LORD came to Shemaiah, saying, They have humbled themselves; therefore I will not destroy them, but I will grant them some deliverance; and my wrath shall not be poured out upon Jerusalem by the hand of Shishak.
Because thine heart was tender, and thou didst humble thyself before God, when thou heardest his words against this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, and humbledst thyself before me, and didst rend thy clothes, and weep before me; I have even heard thee also, saith the LORD.
And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
Can not do it? Remember one that did it for me...and for YOU my friend:
And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
I realize some reading this may well be hurting right now. They may want to have the love this message talks about but they have been hurt so much in the past. I want to leave you with this message...but since I will end with this, I want to make sure each one knows there are people available to talk with you one on one about this. If you are reading this on our web site, use the e-mail link below. If from a group or community on the net, message the moderators or managers. Most of all, as this last part says,.,. JESUS is ALWAYS there..He is a whisper away.
Effective Prayer For Hurting People
when we are hurting the most, it is hard to pray. We do not have the words. All
we know is that it HURTS. Friends, when this happens we know the Holy Spirit is
there interceding on our behave. Romans 8:26 tells us that He makes intercession
for us with the groaning that cannot be uttered.
When I am hurting this much or interceding for those who hurt, I often find it helpful to address this type of prayer to DADDY!
Last evening I went to "Daddy" to intercede on behave of a friend. I told Daddy that my friend was hurting and I wanted Him to comfort this friend. We DO have this closeness with Almighty God. He deeply desires it. Romans 8:15 tells us we have the Spirit of ADOPTION whereby we cry ABBY FATHER. This is the same, as "daddy" It shows the closeness God wants from us. Following are some things I find helpful:
Pray as if all our hurts we in a jar. We take the lid off the jar and POUR ALL our hurts out to "Daddy" We tell Him all about everything that is hurting. (it was during one of these times I realized I was bitter at my parents and did not even realize it) Pour all the hurts and anger and bitterness out to Him Clean house and expose every last bit of garbage we can find in our life and POUR it out until we are emotional drained. It would be best to do this when we are in our secret closet. (I can not imagine any of us doing this without needing tissue near by.) When we are emotionally drained, then we wait upon the Lord (Isa 40:31) As we wait, (it may help to have praise music softly in the background) we mediate upon God's Word. We ask God to give new meaning to old hurts during this time.
When we receive the new meaning to these hurts, Praise God for the new meaning. (Often the new meaning comes as satan's lies being exposed as lies. Lies such as his telling us we are no good and no one cares about us. I believed that for years and it was a bunch of lies.) JESUS cared enough about US about me and about YOU that He DIED for us. We can not get any more worthwhile then that.
When we received healing from these hurts, we need to APPLY 2nd Corinthians 1:3,4 and comfort others with the comfort God gives us during these times. God most often shows HIS love to us through other people and that is a blessing folks. One I do not take lightly. He has used many of you to show me He loves me and I trust that many of you have been shown that He loves you through me.
Because HE Lives I CAN face tomorrow!
(feel free to repost any of my messages anywhere you feel they will help other people. I trust they are from God and are not MY messages so I need not even have "credit" for them. Our goal is to help as many hurting people as possible!
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month