The hidden half of domestic violence
How to have eternal life
shhhhh (got some Gossip....)
Etymology: Middle English gossib, from Old English godsibb, from god
god + sibb kinsman, from sibb related -- more at SIB
Date: before 12th century
1 a dialect British : GODPARENT b : COMPANION, CRONY c : a person who
habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others
2 a : rumor or report of an intimate nature b : a chatty talk c : the
subject matter of gossip
Gossip: We know it has ruined many lives and it has been the
downfall of many ministries including those here on the internet.
Often it is done in the name of "caring" Lets look at some Scripture
that addresses this:
1 Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy
2 He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and
speaketh the truth in his heart.
3 He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his
neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour.
20 Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no
talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
21 As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a
contentious man to kindle strife.
22 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into
the innermost parts of the belly.
Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a
faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Psalm 50:20 Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother; thou
slanderest thine own mother's son.
Where does gossip (which can also be called slander) come from?
Comes from the evil heart
Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth
forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of
his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of
the heart his mouth speaketh.
Often arises from hatred
Psalm 109:3 They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and
fought against me without a cause.
It seperates friends:
Proverbs 16:8 A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer
separateth chief friends.
Proverbs 17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love,
but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
It provokes Anger:
Proverbs 25:23 The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry
countenance a backbiting tongue.
It causes deadly wounds:
9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that
repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
Proverbs 26:22 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels;
they go down to a man's inmost parts.
It CAN be STOPPED:
Proverbs 26:20 Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where
there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
We shall give account for it:
Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men
shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
16 If a false witness rise up against any man to testify against
him that which is wrong;
17 Then both the men, between whom the controversy is, shall stand
before the LORD, before the priests and the judges, which shall be in
18 And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if
the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against
19 Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto
his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you.
20 And those which remain shall hear, and fear, and shall
henceforth commit no more any such evil among you.
21 And thine eye shall not pity; but life shall go for life, eye
for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot
A gossip often counts on Christians refraining from this. On our
internet groups, we often try to keep any disagreements off the
message boards. We do so in the name of "unity" but I contend this
is often a mask that is put on as it prevents open and honest
discussion. Most often, when it is kept off the boards, there are
messages being passed by e-mail or IM. The accused is therefore not
able to see what is being said and can not defend his or herself.
Facts are often distorted or willingly left out. Remember, lies can
be told by NOT saying something that should be said.
Remember my friend, there is nothing wrong with having disagreements
with another brother or sister. It is not wrong to have
disagreements with our family members. It becomes wrong when we
will not work things out. Often this is done because "it hurts too
much to do so" yet we will allow these wounds to fester and get
infected and will often even cause the "infection" our self by
introducing gossip. We then will break up the body of Christ or we
will break up homes and relationships. Yes I did post in Conflicts
and Confrontation that at times we do need a "cooling off" period but
this should be reasonable. Unresolved conflicts do not heal. They
do not just go away. They evolve into a bigger monster that often
gets more difficult to deal with. Yet it still does take ALL of
those involved to bring healing. If you have been involved in a
still unresolved conflict, perhaps with your spouse and the other
person is unwilling to resolve it, YOU have to be able to forgive and
We often see this in domestic situations when a spouse will
wrongfully accuse another of wrongs. One might say my spouse is
seeing another man or woman but it is left out that this other woman
may be his or sick mother or father or sister or brother.
Is there ever a time when it is right to discuss issues such as those
I contend that there ARE times it is OK. Gossip depends on our
motivation. Gossip intends to make it sound like WE are better, we
are holier, or our moral fiber is stronger then the other. BUT there
are times in which we should talk with others about a problem.
1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits
whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out
into the world
IF we do not talk to others at times especially about problems in our
internet groups be they here in Yahoo, or in MSN or anywhere
else...be they at our churches or fellowship groups, then false
prophets can thrive. One thing a false prophet depends on is that
God's people in the name of not spreading gossip will not compare
notes. When we do try the spirits to see if they are from God, we
will often find out that we are told something that is completely
opposite of another that we may now be in odds with. A false prophet
seeks to cause discord in our homes, in our communities, our churches
and our groups. THIS is one advantage of allowing posts that do not
agree with us on the message board and you know that I have allowed
and will keep allowing any post that attack ME on Shattered Men. If
the post that attacks me is based upon fact, I need to repent. If
not, my record should speak for itself.
This brings me to my last point.
What do we do when we find we are attacked?
I believe we need simply encourage those listening to seek the facts
on BOTH sides. Encourage them to seek the truth..to try the spirits
as 1 John 4:1 tells us to do. Then follow the advise in Conflict and
Confrontation (by the time you read this, this message should be
posted on kens page noted above)
Then..do NOTHING. DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF!
1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder.
Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with
humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he
may exalt you in due time:
James 4: But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God
resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
1 Corinthians 13
4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
My LORD, apply this message to those who need it...even if it be ME!
Make me like YOU LORD...Make ME like YOU!
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JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month