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"The Top 10 Things Custodial Parents Do To Destroy The Noncustodial Parent/Child Relationship"

A RANT by T. Michael Zizza

July 2001

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Without a doubt, this Top 10 list barely scratches the
surface in regard to how Custodial Parents work to
destroy the Noncustodial Parent/Child relationship.
And most certainly there could be many top 10's, top
100's, what have you.  However, despite similarities
every situation is different.  Ultimately, tyranny
flourishes with silence.

TMZ
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10.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT DOES NOT ALLOW THE CHILD TO
RECEIVE LETTERS AND GIFTS FROM THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT
IN THE MAIL.  The best thing to do is send everything
priority mail with a tracking number.  There is proof
that the post office attempted to deliver it.  If
delivered, you will know what time.  If the post
office tries to deliver it but the mail goes back to
the post office, you will receive acknowledgement that
the mail was unclaimed.

9.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT DOES NOT ALLOW THE
NONCUSTODIAL PARENT TO CALL THEIR CHILD ON THE
TELEPHONE.  The Noncustodial Parent needs to get a
letter in writing from the Custodial Parent that they
are not to call the child.  Often, the Custodial
Parent will bellyache they are verbaly abused on the
telephone by the Noncustodial Parent, blanking out all
the while that the best thing to do is just give the
telephone to the child and shut up.

8.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT DOES NOT ALLOW THE CHILD TO
INTERACT WITH THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT VIA EMAIL.
Hands down, email is one of the easiest ways to
communicate.  For the Custodial Parent to not allow
this contact between the Child and Noncustodial Parent
is mind numbing.  Email Greeting cards are wonderful
to send and receive, but often the Noncustodial Parent
will send one a day to the child for months...and
receive nothing.  What a disgrace if the child in
question is of course able to operate a computer.

7.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT IS UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE WITH
THE NONCUSTODIAL PARENT.  When the Custodial Parent
wants the Noncustodial Parent out of the picture, the
Custodial Parent will make it seem like they are the
victim of verbal abuse and hysterics from the
Noncustodial Parent.  This is an attempt to relieve
themselves of being rational and seeing that if you
try to destroy a Noncustodial Parent/Child
relationship, you might face opposition.

6.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT IS HYPERACTIVE WITH CONCERNS
FOR THE CHILD.  In our overprotective, politically
correct, hypersensitive society, all the Custodial
Parent has to do is alert the right individuals they
have "concerns" for the child.  Then, they look like a
hero and the Noncustodial Parent looks like the louse.
 The Custodial Parent builds a wall around the child
with the mindset: "I'm the most concerned parent."

5.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT PLACES THE CHILD IN THERAPY
WHICH IS ADMINISTERED THROUGH MANAGED CARE INSURANCE.
The Noncustodial Parent has virtually no say so, no
input into the child's therapy sessions.  The
Custodial Parents carries the managed care insurance
and it is very restrictive.  The Noncustodial Parent
cannot meet one on one with a therapist even if they
pay for the session because the child is given a
limited amount of sessions.  And the Custodial Parent
can veto a session being used for the purpose of the
Noncustodial Parent actually meeting the therapist.
Whoever places the child in therapy first---wins.

4.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT REFUSES TO MEET AT A NEUTRAL
PLACE FOR PICK UP/DROP OFF OF THE CHILD.  Many parents
who cannot get along meet at a neutral place--for the
best interest of the child.  Even though they can't
get along, they think of the child first.  These are
rational parents who might be at odds.  An irrational
Custodial Parent will not only refuse to meet at a
neutral place but will force the Noncustodial Parent
to pick up/drop off the child with the possibililty of
being videotaped by others.  Furthermore, the
Custodial Parent would rather see the Noncustodial
Parent use the services of a police officer for pick
up/drop off of the child, rather than meet at a public
neutral place close by.

3. THE CUSTODIAL PARENT INTERFERES WITH PARENTING
TIME, INCLUDING SUMMER TIME.  The Custodial Parent
suffers from either a smothering parenting disorder or
a separation anxiety when they interfere with the time
allotted between Noncustodial Parent and the Child.
The Noncustodial Parent and the Child are put through
a plethora of hoops all designed to make their time
together impossible to enjoy or to even facilitate.

2.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT HIRES AN ATTORNEY WHEN
ATTORNEYS ARE NOT NEEDED.  It was Warren Farrell who
said in so many words that attorneys are for people
who fail to communicate.  Often, the Noncustodial
Parent will beg and plead with the Custodial Parent to
be with the Child, but the Custodial Parent will play
like Super Parent, hire an attorney and murder the
Noncustodial Parent/Child relationship.  The majority
of Noncustodial Parents cannot afford an attorney, so
the Custodial Parents who themselves refuse to
communicate, play the attorney card---and win.

1.  THE CUSTODIAL PARENT INFLICTS THE CHILD WITH
PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME.  The Custodial Parent
crosses a very fine line when inflicting the Child
with PAS.  The Noncustodial Parent is continually
called bad, no good, has an awful past, etc, etc.  PAS
destroys the Child because the Child is led to believe
they only have one good parent, only one good family.
The child slowly over time listens to their other
biological parent being driven out of their lives.
PAS flourishes when the Noncustodial Parent/Child
relationship is not enforced, encouraged or desired.

FROM ACFC

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