Shat terd


The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life

Conflict and Confrontation

How does Conflict Arise?

Proverbs 13:10   Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 28:25  Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 30:33  Surely the churning of milk bringeth forth butter, and the wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood: so the forcing of wrath bringeth forth strife

Pride, Greed, Anger are all aspects of our human sinful nature and are things that bring us into conflict with others.  Pride often demands the last word.  It demands that we prove our self right even if it costs us relationships.   Greed demands more then our share.  Often conflict occur when someone we know gets more recognition,  a promotion or praise for something we feel we should have gotten. In relationships we often do not feel the other person is doing their share.  Anger results when our pride is hurt or when we dwell on these wrongs, even if the wrong is only in our own mind.  Far more destructive is the Bitterness that results from this.

Romans 7

22   For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23   But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

Those who follow Christ are often have internal conflict as the old nature and the new nature war within our self between the old sinful nature and the new Spiritual nature.

What is the Right Way To Handle Conflict or Disagreement?

1 Corinthians 6:7   Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?

Often we have to give up our "rights" in order to resolve a conflict.   (Romans 5, 6, and 7)

John 17:21  That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.

We should not only pray for peace and unity with other people, but we should actively seek it.

Acts 15

36   And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the LORD, and see how they do.
37   And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
38   But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.
39   And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;

At times, a conflict can be so great there is no resolution and we see a parting of ways.  There are times when both sides were wrong and other times when one side or the other was and there are also times when neither side was wrong.  I believe in each conflict, we need to assess our self and make sure we are not the one wrong.  The Psalmist prayed, search ME oh Lord, Not search the other one.

2 Timothy 2:

24   And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
25   In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;

When people disagree with what we are saying we should maintain a gracious and gentle attitude instead of becoming angry and defensive.  If we really are sure what we said is from the Lord, we need to remember the person disagreeing with us are really disagreeing with God. 


Matthew 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.



Under what circumstances should we confront?

Ephesians 5:11

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them

Evil and wickedness must be confronted or it could consume us.

2 Samuel 12:1   And the LORD sent Nathan unto David. And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor.
2 Samuel 12:7  And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul;

Confronting some one who does wrong may lead to their reconciliation  with God and or those they are at odds with.  In fact we are told we are to be in the business of  reconciliation. 

Romans 5:10
For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.
2 Corinthians 5:18
And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

Colossians 1:20
And, having made peace through the blood of his cross, by him to reconcile all things unto himself; by him, I say, whether they be things in earth, or things in heaven.
Colossians 1:21
And you, that were sometime alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now hath he reconciled


Nehemiah 3:2  Then contended I with the rulers, and said, Why is the house of God forsaken? And I gathered them together, and set them in their place.

When we do have to confront someone, it is best to do so as soon as possible.  We do not let the problem fester and grow.  Anger can become bitterness.  Greed often result in wrong acts, Pride will result in a major fall for those that have it.  Speedy confrontation can prevent this if done in the right manor.

Titus 3:2  To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.

We do not want to be confronted about a wrong we are doing.  As a result when we have to confront others, we need to think how we would want to be confronted and do so in the same way.  We do not confront in a condemning or holier then thou way, but in Love and with the goal to restore.

2 Timothy 1:7  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

If we need to confront, we need to ask God to give us the power LOVE and self discipline to say what we must to restore the broken relationships.  We need to also remember that both sides (if we are trying to bring two others together) may turn on us. and they can both be angry at us for "not minding our own business"   Above all else, we need to do this with LOVE...and not condemnation.  We can not throw stones as the purpose is to restore.


Proverbs 24:26  Every man shall kiss his lips that giveth a right answer.

We should be honored that someone cares enough to put their relationship with us at risk to do what is best for us.


Proverbs 19:25  Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.

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