Shat  terd


The hidden half of domestic violence

How to have eternal life


Many years ago, I was on guard duty at a post in South Korea. It was
winter and we had a major blizzard going on. The temperature was in
the single digits. I was huddled in a door way thinking...."if they
want this land...they can have it" I was uncomfortable and I was
apathetic. In reality, some young North Korean soldier was more then
likely doing the same thing I was a few miles north of where I was.

Let's talk about apathy. We all know it happens. In many cases it
does not matter. I could be apathetic about minor things that will
not matter ten years from now, or perhaps even tomorrow. For
example, I am apathetic about who will win most sporting events.
There are some things that it is very important. Edmund Burke
said "All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men to do
nothing." I believe there is a lot of truth in this.

Winston Churchill stated: "If you will not fight for the right when
you can easily win without bloodshed, if you will not fight when your
victory will be sure and not so costly, you may come to the moment
when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a
precarious chance for survival. There may be a worse case. You may
have to fight when there is no chance of victory, because it is
better to perish than to live as slaves."

Shattered Men, and many of the ones I will be posting this message in
exist because of apathy. We want to bury our head in the sand
because we do not want to be bothered.

What is apathy?

ap•a•thy :

1: Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of
general importance or appeal; indifference.
2: Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up
because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I
didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade
unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was
a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left
to speak up. Martin Niemoeller (1892-1984)

Why does apathy exist?

I contend that far too often we are too comfortable and we do not
want to be bothered.

A condition or feeling of pleasurable ease, well-being, and

Ahhhh those comfort zones. We want to relax in our easy chair and
watch the game or the latest soaps with a glass of ice tea (or other
beverage) and a bag of chips and dip but please do not talk about
anything that might make us...think!

I know of Christian groups who only want uplifting post. They do not
want one bit of controversy. The do not want anyone to make waves or
to disturb the waters. Well my friend, if we are not making waves,
we are not DOING anything either...we are dead in the water.

In ancient Jerusalem there was a pool of water named Bethesda that
when the waters were stirred (when it was making waves) the first
person in the waters was totally healed of any disease they had. The
blind, lamed, deaf and other that were ill often waited for days to
be the first one in when the waters were troubled. (now you know
where the hospital got its name from) . Why am I saying this? Often
we have to make waves for healing to happen to those that need it.
Our society needs to have the waters troubled. Someone once said if
there is not justice for ALL…there is not justice at all. Our
society is making fatherless homes in record numbers in spite of the
damage fatherless ness does to our children. We have over 20 pages
of information on this on our web site but I am only giving one of
them. It is a letter to the President and The Attorney General of
The United States

This letter will also point out the apathy in our society that has
made Shattered Men a necessity but in short, there are according to
unbiased research as many abused men as there are abused women but
there is little if any government help for these men. Men are not
only abused equally in domestic settings, they are legally abused in
our court systems. Many men and women have posted in Shattered Men
about the ways men have had their children given to very abusive ex
wives who in turn then abuse these children. Many have been
prevented from seeing their children (it is one of the most common
reasons men do not see their children after a divorce) Most lawyers
tell men that hire them not to even try for custody as there is a fat
chance they can get it...even if mom is abusive. times this
does happen to women. This is why Shattered Men also has shattered
WOMEN in it. If we do not approach both sides...we will not resolve
anything. This is why we at Shattered Men will ask why although
women shelters tell us never to do this. If we do not, we often will
become codependent with an abuser. There is seldom a conflict
between two adults where both do not add to the conflict. What is
abuse of one does it, should be abuse of the other does it too yet we
often see it be socially acceptable for women to assult men just
because he looked at her wrong...or because he whistled at her. NO
violence should be tolerated except in legitimate self defense. I
could go on but you can check our group and web site for much more
information on this.

Why is their apathy?

Like I said, we do not want to leave our comfort zones. We are
content with burying our head in the sand and pretending everything
is ok. Some of this results from censorship. We do not know the
real facts concerning what I mentioned above. We buy the lie that
95% of all abuse victims are women and that more women go to the
emergency room for domestic violence then anything else ...and we do
not even bother to check the facts.

It is not just secular feminist groups that are apathetic. I have
written to many Christian groups and ministries and have been totally
ignored. Many of you reading this…if you are still reading it will
ignore it. We do not want to get out of our comfort zones or...worse
yet...we may be afraid that by listening to both sides…it may mean a
loss of MONEY. Many of the Christian ministries cater to their
audience and often this audience are women. Well my friend,
Shattered Men shows many women are very concerned about this
injustice to men. I believe at least half of our membership are
women that care about this now. In fact, we have several women that
were abused by men yet they fully understand the need to address BOTH
sides of this issue.

Unlike one "Christian" group I know of that states that they were
told to minister to women ONLY….(they will not even give a man that
comes for help the time of day) God is not a respecter of persons.
He cares about YOU be you male or female, Red or Yellow...Black or
White He cares for YOU!

Apathy. We know it exist in society. Groups such as Shattered Men, Battered Husbands Support, Abused Guys
Men's Issues Online and  Fathers United For The Rights Of Our Children  show this. It also is fully entrenched in our Christian groups.

I have seen Christian groups turn people away because they did not
like their on line ID. I have seen them ban people because they
acted well like a sinner. I have seen these Christian groups want
someone to clean up their act before joining. These Christian groups
were apathetic about the need for those who do not know the LORD.
They were too entrenched in their comfort zones to reach out to
others. Umm sort of reminds me of the kid that prayed.. God bless
Mom, God bless Dad, God bless three and NO more!

God's love knows no boundaries. My friend, if you are one of these
types of in your comfort zone, let me tell you
what GOD says about this:

Ezekiel 33:5-7

5 He heard the sound of the trumpet, and took not warning; his
blood shall be upon him. But he that taketh warning shall deliver his
6 But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the
trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take
any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his
blood will I require at the watchman's hand.
7 So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the
house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and
warn them from me

Recently, I have been putting a lot of my old records on my PC so I
can make CD's from them. I came across this song....

Does It make any difference to you?
Does it make any difference to you?
if a soul dies in sin
God has told you to win
will it make any difference to you?

Will his blood be required at your hands?
Do you warn the lost as He planned?
Do you make plain the way?
Do you work while it's day?
is the Lord working daily through you?

When we meet on that wonderful shore
and the trials of life are all over
Will you find there a soul
Whom the Savior made whole?

Will it make any difference to you?
Will his blood be required at you hands?
Do you warn the lost as He planned?
Won't you make plain the way?
Won't you work while it's day?
Does it make any difference to you?

DOES it make any difference to YOU? Does the injustice to a select
few be it men or women make a difference to you? IF it does...I
have a suggestion....JOIN us. It will make a difference with the
number of members we have in Shattered Men. It already is the
largest group on Yahoo that focuses on domestic abuse. The larger it
is, the more it shows it IS a problem. Get involved as we work
toward any injustice to anyone...male or female.

MORE important, look around you. Do your neighbors, your co workers
know you are a Christian? If not...why not? Reach out to them.
Let them know in whom you believe and why. If you do not know
how...we will be happy to teach you and we often have chats on this
on Sunday nights. Our address is:

My precious friend, if you are not a Christian, if you do not know
for sure that you have eternal life....You can be 100% sure of this
in the next few moments. You may be wondering why should you trust a
God that allowed your children to be stolen from you. You may well
be asking where was this God when I was arrested for being beaten?
Where was he when my wife (or husband) ran off with another person.
He was there my friend. He gave you free will to trust Him...or not
to trust Him. He has given free will to these others too...and
sometimes they chose to abuse others.

My friend, He can take your shattered life and put it back together

Humpty Dumpty

Oh they may have said they were Christians...but saying it does not
make it so. There are many that know about Jesus Christ that think
they are a Christian.. but they are not. We need to KNOW Him...not
know about Him. This will explain the difference.

The world will try to satisfy that longing in your soul
You may search the wide world over but you'll be just as before
You'll never find true satisfaction until you've found the Lord
For only Jesus can satisfy your soul

Only Jesus can satisfy your soul
And only He can change your heart
And make you whole
He'll give you peace you never knew
Sweet love and joy and Heaven too
For only Jesus can satisfy your soul

If you could have the fame and fortune all the wealth you could obtain
Yet you have not Christ within your living hear would be in vain
There'll come a time when death shall call you, riches can not help
you then
So come to Jesus for He can satisfy

Only Jesus can satisfy your soul
And only He can change your heart
And make you whole
He'll give you peace you never knew

Sweet love and joy and Heaven too
For only Jesus can satisfy your soul

My friend, if you would like help to know beyond a doubt that Jesus
will satisfy your soul, please contact me or leave a message to the
owners in Shattered Men.

Jesus is waiting….for YOU!

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